Kids Say the Darndest Things Quotes With Art Linkletter
Grandkids Say The Darndest Things!
Grandkids Say The Darndest Things!
BY BOB CAIRNS
I don't want to get total Fine art Linkletter GrandKids Say the Darndest Things , but now that I'chiliad a grandparent and when one of our grands, Jack or Julia, entertains united states of america with a funny line, I non only write them down, I recall the days when my parents shared lines that our kids, their grandkids, said.
Elizabeth, our youngest, was a gold mine of material and invariably she'd salvage her one-liners for our parents.
One evening while being babysat past my parents, she pulled every pull a fast one on in the volume to keep from going to bed. We had gone to the theater to see the traveling visitor of the Broadway bear witness Cats . And when Liz had exhausted everything from "I demand a potable" to "Please ane more story," she announced that she had to have a word with our canis familiaris, Augie. She "knew" that Augie was upset because it was late and her parents weren't abode however. "Okay," my mother said, "Merely that's information technology. One word with Augie and so off to bed." And then, Liz knelt in front of the Weimaraner and said, "It's okay, your parents will be dwelling house soon, they've gone to see a play!" And then she paused and kindly said, "It's called Dogs!"
Nice grandkid, squeamish try, off to bed.
Every bit parents and certainly, grands we do our very best to watch our language. And this 1 once more features our daughter who was nigh 8 years at the time. There were two picayune neighborhood boys whom I'd caught giving Liz a vocabulary lesson. I called them The Brothers Grimm! They had taught her to cuss and she, like a parrot, bluntly put Alyce and me on tenterhooks when her grandparents came to visit.
Liz'due south favorite volume was The Berenstain Bears, and equally many of us grands know, that's the one where the female parent gently disciplines her baby bears by giving them chores when they misbehave.
"…with a table full of teetotaling relatives, says, "I tin carry two twelve packs of Budweiser, I guess I can comport this!"
So, Elizabeth very innocently drew her own version of the Berenstain Bears and presented it to her grandmother Cairns. When my mother opened the piece of paper with the fiddling artistic presentation the mother bear was passing out assignments to her infant bears with the following copy, "Say S@@t! Clean your room! Say d@@1000! Sweep the floor!" And then the grand finale, "Say f@@@! Launder the dishes!"
When my female parent gasped and said, "Elizabeth!" Liz realized that what she had washed was somehow wrong and cried her tiny eyes out. Her grandmother consoled her as she didn't know what she'd done. We really kept that work of fine art as a souvenir of kid-raising. Now, here we are, grandparenting.
Matt, who was nigh five, had spent a few days with his grandparents. Matt'due south grandad, whom he called Bob-Bob, drove a Chevy Van and so for fun he made Matt an verbal model of the vehicle. When Matt returned from his visit he was playing with the little replica of the van on our couch and as I watched he was busy trying to park it between two pillows! Finally, subsequently several attempts at the parking, Matt looked upward at me and said, "Bob-Bob says s@@t!" I never told my dad because he would take been upset. But I could just see my father trying to wedge that van of his into a tight parking place and slipping in front end of a little bullpen with big ears!
One more Elizabeth. Thanksgiving dinner was near to be served at my mother'southward dwelling in Maryland and Elizabeth (about vii) came staggering to a Norman Rockwell-similar tabular array lugging the 30-pound turkey. My mother was right behind her saying, "Oh, Elizabeth, tin can y'all carry that? Elizabeth, with a table full of teetotaling relatives, says, "I can carry two twelve packs of Budweiser, I guess I tin can carry this!"
Those are only a few of the little gems that our kids shared with their grandparents. At present that Alyce and I have Julia, four, and Jack, 8, we are collecting our Grandkids Say the Darndest Things!
Like the fourth dimension Julia, iii, (begat by Elizabeth), flight downward the driveway on her trike shouted, in front end of two neighbor ladies walking their dogs, "Look, Momma, I'm going hell-bent for election!"
Now that Alyce and I have Julia, 4, and Jack, eight, we are collecting our Grandkids Say the Darndest Things!
And then, again, my proposition volition ever exist to watch our language. Only never fail to make a note or 2 when these lilliputian laugh lines come, they are Grand History!
See more from Bob
AUTHOR BIO
In add-on to existence a proud and artistic granddad. Bob Cairns is the creator of the new website,Stories by Grumps where Cairns showcases his best stories for grandkids and inspires other grandparents to share theirs. Bob has been a published writer for many years. His books include the novel, The Comeback Kidsand thePen Men: Baseball's Greatest Bullpen Stories by the Men Who Brought the Game Relief . He besides wrote numerous pieces forSports IllustratedandSI for Kids. For 34 years Bob wrote for North Carolina State Academy.
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Source: https://www.grandmagazine.com/2021/05/grandkids-say-the-darndest-things/
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